Tom Torero has given me a great tip on a bar location and I’m waiting there. In the meantime I’ve had another pre-fight strategy call with Krauser. The likelihood of getting laid is now stunningly high. I contemplate the thought of actually having to physically fuck this girl. Shit! How can I be great in bed? I realize I don’t give that much of a fuck: two pumps and it counts and I could literally pull out, wipe off and walk home elated. It’s all in the chase.
Anyway Krauser has the solution, he’s written a post called How To Be A Sex God. I sit in the hotel bar reading this, doing my homework. With shock I realize I can be great in bed without any significant technical ability or even bothering to make her orgasm. In a nutshell:
- Be really dominant and give her a domination experience she’s not had before.
- Be rough.
- Don’t fiddle round doing fiddly shit, like eating her out or whatnot.
Brill! That’s that sorted. And my second most recent lay already opened the doors on non-Beta style sex, so I feel confident I can push the boat out a little. Also, I have two emergency cialis on permanent standby in my wallet. I check they’re there. Lovely.
I’m about to leave and give my emails a final check. I almost scream aloud in horror when I see this:
I don’t know if can leave the tour. You wouldn’t guess where I am right now: Cheesey Pub.
And just went back to my room looks like I’m not sharing a room with anyone :)
AAAAGGHHHH! She can’t leave the tour but has outright told me she wants to screw.
I steady my breathing and try to think straight. I send her this:
say youre tired, sneak off and meet me at that little pub near your hotel where we had a drink.
email me. or email me yr usa number.
Then I tear like the wind out of the hotel, flag down the nearest black cab and hurl myself into it. I scream the address of her hotel at the taxi driver and tell him “drive like the wind!” which he ignores, the twisted omega. It’s my second black cab of the day (and not my last) but I don’t spare a second thought: I want this to happen.
I get out round the corner of her hotel and check my mails. Another:
Everyone is about to go to sleep. Do you have a friend for the friend made?
WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN? Then I realise it means not only is this girl really horny, already mentally past her LMR, but hallelujah she’s drunk as well. Glory be! The problem is she’s now free and some fat Peurto-Rican Lesbian cockblock from her tour group has caught a whiff that one of the group has ‘an out’ to do something more interesting than go to bed early and has inserted herself into this like a hookworm; not to be shaken off. FUCK! I need a wing. I try some futile email-extraction:
well…. not sure what that actually means! … but im nearby. whats yr room number?
Brassy. Blatant offer to just go to room and fuck.
I’m hanging out in the lobby with two of the girls from our tour. But we don’t want to go to sleep yet.
Sweet Jesus it gets worse. Now an Israeli lesbian beat-poet has joined them.
Hmmm….I’m just on my own im afraid….
Can you bring friends and we’ll meet at the same pun nearby my hotel?
She’s outlined the deal: I entertain her and her tiny-minded friends and I get to fuck her. So be it.
I call Krauser. Engaged. I call again. And again. Then I realise he’s with Tom doing some kind of video interview or something. Who else? I rack my brains. Normal chode friends are worse than useless: I can do better on my own. I need someone with game. I think of one of Nick’s friend’s who seems quite cool, and he’s good looking and brown so maybe this other whore will just ‘pick him’ and he won’t need any game.
No answer. I’m desperate. I’m in a doorway staring at my phone, trying to will an idea into my head. I can feel this SDL slipping through my fingers like the sands from a shattered hourglass.
My phone rings. It’s Nick.
I hysterically scream twenty seconds of insensible jabber down the line at him. AAGGGHHH whathtefuck WHERE ARE YOU that girl you knowthatgirl from Trafalgar ohgodohgodohgodtotallydtfgot some cunting cockblock youknow aghh need wingwhereare you?
He’s still busy but we come up with a plan. I’m going to try a Brass-Necked Extraction. Strut in. Ignore all the chode filth. Emit some man-vibe. Give the target rape eyes and whisper to her to ditch the losers then just drage her out. If this fails I can get a taxi over to Tom’s flat and text them en route and him and even Tom (bless him), if needs be, can wing me. Sweet! It’s back on.
I take a few deep breaths, psyche myself up and walk round and into the hotel lobby. The place is swarming with hundreds of chodes from tour groups. I spot my girl; she doesn’t half look hot. She’s with two girls. One looks small and asian and potentially hot. The other looks like a beast. There’s some subtle back and forward shuffling about going on. I watch it rapt. My target bids them goodbye and heads. The two cockblocks turn and head. Yes!!
Nooo!!! The beast has seperated from the asian and gone for the lifts, but the asian won’t give up her last little chance of doing something fun tonight and she’s just spotted me waiting, looking handsome and cool. The trecherous bitch doubles back and catches back up with my target. Fuck! I laugh at the brittle murder-filled fake-smile my target gives her then I see the female Matrix descend. That’s all it takes in girl world. My target will literally not even give a one-sentence ‘No’ to this girl for fear of jeapordizing her social standing.
They reach me. I see the obstacle close up and my heart sinks. Firstly, she’s super-hot. Small, curvaceous, absolutely in her SMV prime. Problem is she’s American and I take one look at her face and instantly recognize the calculating eyes of a professional attention whore. I know in nanoseconds one thing:
Unless this obstacle gets hers, I am not getting mine.
And it’s takes real, genuine, game to fuck an SMV-prime gorgeous professional attention whore.
I do the best I can to not chode it. I immediately tease her, greet my target and lead them out to flag down a taxi. We get in and I give the address for Tom’s flat. In hindsight I realize now that I started to lose the frame quickly to the Attention Whore. She interrupts. She changes the subject. She says stupid things and expects us to laugh. She distracts my target from me. I don’t do a dreadful chode failure type job, I remain afloat, but barely. It’s only later, starting with what happens this very night and learned through subsequent months that I realise the only strategy for these girls is The Frame Crush. You have to grind them to dust. Nothing less.
For nearly anyone else this would have been the lay lost, but with a glimmer of hope I realize I am on my way to meet not just one but two of the tiny number of men in London capable of getting me laid tonight. Thank God. I text Krauser:
Me: en route eta 5-10 min one hot young asian high 8 plus my target
Me: mine is the tall one. the other one is an attention whore
K: 2 girls or 3?
I’m relieved to see Nick and Tom. Tom charms them for a second then heads off into the night and me and Nick lead the yanks to a nearby pub. There then follows my first experience in witnessing Frame Crushing. To my inexperienced eyes I’m stunned. This is how you fuck girls like that? He talks to her in a slow, extremely loud voice. He speaks to her like she’s a child. He sits back expounding on whatever interests him. Just recently, reading his upcoming new book, I see what he did. All the small stories were designed to lure the Attention Whore into revealing her own stupidity and ill-education and then having her legs kicked out from under her. I’m actually amazed. I thought you had to do something mystical to fuck girls like that. I can do this stuff with some bigger balls.
The problem is he’s almost shouting in her face, and his droning Geordie monotone is totally fucking with me. I’m much more low-energy. I find I can’t even think straight. I’m trying to mesmer my target, get some eye contact with her and ask her something like “imagine we’re on a beach, it’s sunny, the waves are lapping at the..” and all that is wiped clean when some booming voice next to me screams
“AND SO AH LUV ME FISH AND CHIPS. ELLO ELLO YOUNG LADY, MY LITTLE SHERLOCK HOLMES HAS CORRECTLY OBSERVED AH NEED SOME KETCHUP ON ME FISH AND CHIPS. NOW A CHIP IS A PIECE O POTATO YOU KNOW. NOT A PIECE OF WOOD.”
it’s idiot talk and I’m equally horrified and amazed. Well…. most of it is drivel, apart from the accurately placed stilleto-stabs of deep historical and political knowledge. It’s about 3/4 idiot talk about chips and silly squirrels and 1/4 about the latter.
I excuse myself and go to the toilet. I text Nick and tell him I just can’t think straight with him shouting like that. He tries to dial it down a bit. I come back and we continue to work but something’s not quite right. We exchange a few messages secretly:
K: Ok. Mine likes me. Potential. You lead for a bit
K: Work for isolation
K: Energy sucks. Bad seating. I suggest a bounce to nearby pub to refresh vibe
Me: agree but dont know any places
K: My read is they don’t know each other but don’t want to appear slutty for rest of holiday. Need to separate them, even if only within same bar.
K: We walked past one. If we walk to Marble Arch will find one. Tons of pubs in the area and they are bewildered on location.
We bounce. En route to venue two, which we don’t know, but are just winging it I explain the problem. He tells me I need to get isolation and warm mine up again. I’ve still not kissed her again since earlier. Danger. Is this slipping away?
We find a pub which thank God is still open. There’s a booth at the back. There’s more chance of us cutting these girls throats than letting them sit together, so we end up as two couples on facing benches. I run the set for a minute, shouting much louder than normal and using my creative mastery to tell some ridiculous story about pugs which the girls love. I tell my girl to come to the bar and help me get drinks. This is it. This is yet again another single moment in the night where it’s make or break. I have keep my girl in isolation and spike her BT again and Nick has to successfully K-close his and get her to be into him enough so that she’ll agree to me extracting mine without kicking up a shame-stink.
I take my girl to the bar and dump full power hypno-toad eye mesmer into her:
I grab her and snog her. Then some more. Then I sit on a high stool and pull her into me and snog her more, squeezing and groping her delicious ass. I bite her lips softly. Every minute counts so I keep us there making out and sipping drinks for as long as possible. I see that I’ve spiked mine’s BT. She’s giving me fuck-eyes. I still can’t verbalize the sex though as this will trigger LMR. I need to give her deniability. I tell her there’s a gorgeous hotel bar nearby, it’s lovely and I want to take her there for ‘one nightcap’ before I ‘drop her off back at her hotel in good time’.
She says she can’t leave her friend. I can see her point. They’re both new to London and they’ve only just met us and we’re two strange guys.
“You’re friend likes Nick. I think she really wants to stay with Nick”.
She looks disbelieving.
“I think they’re making out right now” I tell her, hoping like hell they are.
“Really?” she asks hopefully. I can see this is her escape clause.
In my most considerate voice I whisper:
“Look… this is what’s going to happen. I’m going to walk us back over there. We’ll see straight away if Attention Whore and Nick are enjoying each others company. If they are, and only if they are, I will simply ask Attention Whore if she minds terribly if I borrow you for one hour to have a nightcap at a nearby hotel bar before dropping you back off to her at your hotel by twelve. Ok?”.
We walk back. I take one look and know the job’s done. Attention Whore’s face is completely flushed and she looks guilty as hell. Nick eye-codes me. I glance at my girl and see that she sees. I see the other girl see how flushed my girl is and see her know the score.
In a big bold voice I reel off the spiel from above. I start even moving me and the girl away from the table. Attention Whore no longer cares. She’s got hers, now she’s happy. I extract.
We walk outside and there’s a black cab almost upon us, thank Christ himself. Seconds later we’re in and I give the address of the hotel bar. En route I start distracting her to keep her mind off things. Then I realize this is perhaps the incorrect strategy. She looks achingly horny. I start snogging her. Really heavy. I reach over and start stroking her pussy through her leggings and she starts moaning and biting me. Fuck this. I break off for two seconds and tell the cabbie to go to her hotel instead. She doesn’t object.
We reach her hotel and go up to her room. This is it!! Yes!!! First SDL!! Second lay ever from day game. Oh god! She opens her door and walks in. I’m about to step in and two seconds later she walks straight back out and shuts the door. There’s now another person asleep in the previously unoccupied other bed. The tour group have assigned a later-comer to her room. There’s ANOTHER COCKBLOCK NOW IN THE SEX LOCATION.
I’m silent for a moment. I feel the world crumbling away beneath my feet: a sorceror whose magic, finally undone, causes the filaments of his world to fall into jumbled strands and in his grasping hands ethereally fade to mist. This is how Sauron felt when the ring got chucked in the lava.
Right. Think Bodisatta. Think! Ok. Get a room. Pay for a fucking room. It’ll cost a hundred quid or something but it doesn’t count as paying for sex. I take her hand and head downstairs. I tell her I’m getting a room. She objects a little. But not much. I leave her by the lifts and go to reception.
The hotel is fully booked. I feel like shooting the desk clerk in the face. I wonder if I’m going to have a weeping breakdown.
I go back to my girl. I just shake my head but start snogging her again. She flops hard. She’s super-horny. Her eyes are starting to look glazed. Mentally I come up with a desperate plan: spike her BT so high she doesn’t mind when I take her into the stairwell and just screw her against the wall. Better than nothing. I take her hand and put it on my dick. It’s the first time in my life I’ve ever done this. It’s great fun. She cups it and squeezes it then starts frigging me through my jeans. I’m amazed. Jesus, girls get really horny. I take her hand and start walking down the corridors looking for the stairwells.
I can’t find them. This hotel seems to not have any. I simply can’t believe how I can’t even find a stairwell when I need one. I’m randomly trying doors to find any room which we can screw in. They’re all locked. I feel stunned with disbelief that I can have got this far, this far, and still be scuppered.
Then I realize something odd. This girl is just following me round, silently, in total compliance as I blatantly try door handles to find a room to fuck in. She just wants my dick in her.
RIGHT!!! My inner drill-sergeant screams in my head. No! I will not go silently into this sweet night. No sir! I WILL get my lay. I WILL get MY SDL. It’s MINE. I worked for it! FUCK THIS.
Bold as brass I put my arm round her and march her across reception and down towards the toilets. In a final fuck-you to women I deliberately pick the womens toilets and just march her straight in. She doesn’t object. She knows what’s going on. With relief I see there are loads of cubicles and they have big, solid, wooden doors on them which go right to the floor and ceiling; not these foul, flimsy plywood contraptions ruining our once great nation with their communist gaps at the top and bottom and rubbish locks.
I drag her in the first one.
Jesus christ. I thought women were the fairer sex. I can honestly say I have never seen such a foul spattering of shit as the sight that greeted me there. It looked like someone had fed a donkey curry then backed the poor beast into the toilet cubicle. The stench was horrible. I kicked the lid shut with my foot and hope we can ignore it.
Door closed and locked I look her in the eyes. They’re completely glazed and she looks like she’s about to melt. Finally! I get to fuck this girl.
I remember Krauser’s post and do my stuff. I shove her roughly against the wall. I pin her. I hold her arms above her head and behind her back. She’s obviously never been dominated before and loves it. She’s shaking with sexual ecstasy. We’re kissing like animals. I tell her I’m going to fuck her brains out and she almost collapses.
I stand back from her and look in the eye. With a face like thunder I grunt “turn around”. She does so. I order her to put her hands on the door. Stick out her ass. I take a handful of her hair and pull it. I slap her ass as hard as I possibly can. She whimpers and almost pisses herself in pleasure. I rip down her leggings and underwear savagely. There it is! That bum I saw wiggling across Trafalgar square about eight hours earlier. I thought I could never fuck a girl like that; she was too SWPL, too waspy, too rich, too American, too Asian. And here she is, in a toilet cubicle with me. At this point I feel like this is the best moment of my life.
“Quick!” my brain reminds me, “Get it in! It needs to go in to count! Someone could interrupt any second!”
I realize I simply cannot risk anything else going wrong. I rip my pants down in seconds. I’m literally too worried that at any second someone might bang on the door that I mentally decide the ten seconds required to get out a condom and put it on “are not worth the risk” so grab her ass and stick my dick in her now sodden cunt.
I remember that this is not about making her come. In fact I really don’t give a shit. I’ve won now. It’s about fucking. I viciously slam her as hard as I possibly can. I’m seizing and yanking her ass, gripping her hair and slamming her like a ragdoll off the back of the door. It’s glorious. At some point I fancy a change so stop and tell her to get on her knees. I make her suck it. She does a great job actually and I can see by her eyes she’s thrilled, simply thrilled by being ordered about. She doesn’t want sweet, sweet loving. She wants this.
I get her on the shitcan and get her legs bent up over her head then pound her like Jimmy Saville on a disabled kid’s corpse. After a bit I’ve had enough so I climb off and yank her onto her knees. I grab her head and tell her that I’m going to stick my cock in her mouth. She’s going to suck it and I’m going to stick it down her throat, and when I come she’s going to swallow every single drop.
Then I do exactly that. It’s fucking great.
I’ve blown my nuts down her guzzle-hole, and the dirty bitch glugged the lot, so now I’m spent. I collapse onto the bog and pull her ontop of me.
It’s all over now. The whole day. The whole elaborate chase. The thrusts and parries, the obstacles thrown in my way. It’s done. I’m elated and deeply satisfied. I hug her in and cuddle her. Stroke her hair. It’s important to give plenty of comfort after fucking a girl like a ragdoll. I genuinely don’t want this girl to feel bad about this. I want her to feel good. I want this to be the dirty, glorious little secret that she unlocks and replays on cold nights. I sit there with her, believe it or not, for about an hour. We chat. We cuddle. We bond with rapport. She’s nuzzling into me. The whole time our clothes are still round our ankles. At some point I elbow the lever to try get rid of the ass-chod festering underneath us.
Eventually I’ve had enough and we clear out. I walk her back to the elevators. She starts verbalizing her worry about what Attention Whore will think. How will they act together tomorrow?
“I’m pretty sure my friend fucked her” I tell her. She scoffs. I ping K-bone:
K: +1. In my room
“Yup” I gloatingly tell her: “he fucked her!”.
She’s happy. The sluttiness is cancelled out. And now they have an amazing special bond with each other so’ll be buddies on their whole trip. I love it when a plan comes together.
I leave and hail yet another black cab. En route I text Nick:
Me: ha ha u owe me one. Just fucked mine in the hotel toilets! HOLY SHIT!
K: Great work. Putting mine in a cab now.
Me: Wait up with a celebratory whiskey.
I get back to his then over whiskies we re-live every minute of the day over and over again, chortling smugly.
The next day I get a final mail from my girl:
Still can’t believe last night happened. That was pretty hot.
She adds me to Facebook and a few weeks later, when her Euro-tour is over I notice her relationship status has changed to “engaged” and there is a grinning, baseball cap wearing, wigger-dressed American chode in lots of the pictures.
This lay was a seminal moment for me in game. It marked the point when I made a noticeable leap forward in self belief and it marked the beginning of me recognizing my own value. It was also the point when I showed some grit and determination and relentlessly drove forward. I climbed a level after this day and I never went back. I became a believer.
And huge thanks to my buddy Krauser, of course, because without his winging it’d never have happened.